His fortunes

61 fortune-cookie readings collected so far. Newest first.

From TikTok's auto-generated captions. [Brackets] fix obvious caption mishearings, and his riffs while reading stay in. Watch the linked video for the source.

1. "Surprising encounter will leave a lasting impact."

   Day 108 · Han Buffet, Cincinnati, OH · at 07:40

2. "you will be recognized for your achievements."

   Day 105 · Great Wall Buffet, Fort Wayne, IN · at 05:31

3. "Dare to dream. Feel, uh, love. Find. Touch. Grass."

   Day 104 · Great Wall Chinese Restaurant, Huntington, IN · at 03:53

4. "Your life will look like a series of blessings."

   Day 103 · New Asian Buffet, Wabash, IN · at 03:47

5. "Life, to you is a bold and dashing adventure."

   Day 100 · Great China Buffet, Frankfort, IN · at 03:44

6. "Don't engage in road rage."

   Day 98 · Buffet King, Lebanon, IN · at 05:03

7. "experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

   Day 96 · Dong's China Buffet, Mooresville, IN · at 04:06

8. "You won't know until you try."

   Day 94 · China Star Buffet, Bloomington, IN · at 04:17

9. "A lifetime of meaningful connections is coming."

   Day 92 · Mr. Hibachi Buffet, Bloomington, IN · at 06:15

10. "Your success will be a testament to your resilience."

    Day 91 · N V China Buffet, North Vernon, IN · at 05:55

11. "Patience is the key to a loving soul."

    Day 89 · Golden Oak Grill Buffet, Oak Ridge, TN · at 04:21

12. "Teach your children the value of accountability and take responsibility."

    Day 86 · China Wok Buffet, Knoxville, TN · at 03:54

13. "You will make many changes before settling happily."

    Day 85 · Osaka Grill and Sushi Buffet, Knoxville, TN · at 04:57

14. "The evening promises romantic interests."

    Day 83 · Yao Buffet Sushi Grill, Asheville, NC · at 05:30

15. "You will experience joy in the beauty of the night sky."

    Day 82 · Sakura Hibachi Buffet, North Myrtle Beach, SC · at 05:40

16. "Determined heart frightens problems away."

    Day 80 · Happy China, Randleman, NC · at 03:54

17. "This month, you'll make significant progress toward your goals."

    Day 78 · Asian House Hibachi Buffet, Mount Airy, NC · at 03:59

18. "Your kindness will be a source of the light in the World."

    Day 77 · China Wok Buffet, Wytheville, VA · at 04:37

19. "success won't taste as good without failures."

    Day 76 · Merryland Express, Beckley, WV · at 04:03

20. "Your future will look adventurous."

    Day 75 · China Buffet, Charleston, WV · at 05:25

21. "You'll be in the spotlight."

    Day 74 · Dragon Garden Buffet, St. Albans, WV · at 04:24

22. "July's beauty will surround you. Appreciate it."

    Day 73 · Moon Buffet, Eleanor, WV · at 04:17

23. "Your Wednesday will be filled with [exciting] opportunities for adventure."

    Day 71 · Old Town Buffet, Bowling Green, OH · at 04:11

24. "A trip to a foreign country will broaden your perspective on life."

    Day 70 · China City Buffet, Perrysburg, OH · at 04:11

25. "This month, you'll experience moments of deep insight."

    Day 69 · China One Buffet, Oregon, OH · at 03:25

26. "Your resilience in the face of challenges will lead to unexpected opportunities."

    Day 67 · Mr Panda Buffet, Toledo, OH · at 05:07

27. "Inner peace is found within. It's worth seeking."

    Day 66 · Ocean Garden Buffet, Toledo, OH · at 04:27

28. "There is a true and sincere friendship for you both."

    Day 64 · Asian Buffet, Lima, OH · at 04:22

29. "You will create a new recipe."

    Day 59 · Fun Buffet, Twinsburg, OH · at 03:32

30. "Sports are a testament to the power of teamwork. Be a strong link in the chain."

    Day 57 · Sakura Buffet, Parma Heights, OH · at 04:28

31. "forget those who wronged you for your own peace of mind"

    Day 55 · China Buffet, Ontario, OH · at 04:10

32. "Let go of the past and embrace July's opportunities."

    Day 54 · Hong Kong Buffet, Marion, OH · at 03:19

33. "Happiness isn't having what you want, but rather wanting what you have."

    Day 53 · Tian Fu Buffet, Delaware, OH · at 04:13

34. "your diligence to working while hard will be your diligence to success"

    Day 52 · Asian Cafe, Marysville, OH · at 03:29

35. "To be successful is staying hard at work."

    Day 51 · China City Buffet, Florence, KY · at 03:34

36. "Your talents will have a chance to shine"

    Day 50 · Fu Yuan Hibachi Buffet, Plainfield, IN · at 04:56

37. "next week, [will] bring a surge of motivation."

    Day 47 · Super China Buffet, Indianapolis, IN · at 04:20

38. "To be creative is to unlock the door of infinite impossibilities."

    Day 46 · Queen Buffet, Indianapolis, IN · at 05:35

39. "Tonight you'll receive an unexpected gift."

    Day 43 · Supreme Hibachi Buffet, Lexington, KY · at 03:43

40. "Your road to glory will be rocky, but fulfilling."

    Day 42 · Golden Buffet, Lexington, KY · at 04:55

41. "today's generosity will come to you in many fold."

    Day 39 · Happy Dragon, Dry Ridge, KY · at 04:33

42. "The bottom of the ladder is crowded. There's more room at the top."

    Day 37 · Umami Buffet, Louisville, KY · at 04:24

43. "Forget those things that aren't worth remembering."

    Day 36 · Asian Buffet, New Albany, IN · at 03:19

44. "The wisest owl hears all before he flies."

    Day 35 · Golden Blossom Buffet, Jeffersonville, IN · at 03:10

45. "Opportunities to explore new horizons is coming soon."

    Day 32 · King Buffet, Louisville, KY · at 03:18

46. "True friends are the keepers of your secrets."

    Day 27 · Hunan House Buffet, Miamisburg, OH · at 03:35

47. "It's just cookie."

    Day 25 · Ichiban, Alexandria, KY · at 03:36

48. "It is never too late to start."

    Day 24 · Empire Buffet, Fort Mitchell, KY · at 04:40

49. "Do not spend money you don't have."

    Day 23 · China Buffet, Columbus, OH · at 03:09

50. "Seek friendship, and you will find someone special this month."

    Day 22 · Super Seafood Buffet, Columbus, OH · at 04:12

51. "A new and exciting opportunity will present itself this Friday."

    Day 21 · Asian Star China Buffet, Columbus, OH · at 04:13

52. "A lifetime of heartfelt compliments will boost your confidence."

    Day 17 · Asian Buffet, Columbus, OH · at 04:23

53. "you will live a healthy life."

    Day 15 · Number One China Buffet, Wilmington, OH · at 02:35

54. "you will become a vegetarian or a vegan."

    Day 14 · New China Buffet, Newport, KY · at 02:56

55. "Financial situation will be secure and stable"

    Day 13 · China Buffet, Eastgate, OH · at 02:39

56. "You have a [keen] sense of humor and love a good time."

    Day 12 · Twin Dragon Chinese Buffet & Grill, West Chester, OH · at 02:22

57. "Strive for progress, not perfection."

    Day 11 · Grand Buffet, Lawrenceburg, IN · at 02:40

58. "You have a deep appreciation for the arts and music."

    Day 7 · Happy Garden Buffet, Harrison, OH · at 02:19

59. "He is blessed with opportunities of growth."

    Day 6 · Asian Buffet, Fairfield, OH · at 02:36

60. "Positive energy will attract an abundance of blessings."

    Day 5 · Bee's Buffet, Fairfield, OH · at 02:34

61. "not good"

    Day 3 · Jade Buffet, Cincinnati, OH · at 02:28