His fortunes
87 fortune-cookie readings collected so far. Newest first.
From TikTok's auto-generated captions. [Brackets] fix obvious caption mishearings, and his riffs while reading stay in. Watch the linked video for the source.
"Tomorrow's kindness will create a ripple of goodwill"
"your hard work will [pay off] this Thursday"
"you will be able to escape the stresses of everyday life with your travels"
"Love and romance will flourish in December."
"Your perseverance will be a key to achieving your goals."
"Tuesday marks a prosperous phase for your business endeavors."
"Seek professional help for your mental health when needed."
"Your creativity will be a source of inspiration for others."
"A new and exciting opportunity will present itself this Friday."
"Don't wait. The time will never be just right."
"July's wisdom will guide your path"
"Trust in the goodness of humanity."
"You'll enjoy love that deepens within time."
"speak the love language of kindness, and you'll touch hearts."
"your life will be a symphony of love and fulfillment"
"A reunion with a loved one awaits you tonight."
"your friends will be your companions on a special journey"
"believe in your dreams they are your strength"
"don't be afraid to share your experience with the world"
"Show kindness to a stranger as if they were a loved one."
"make today the day you follow"
"Approach Mondays with resilience and you'll overcome any obstacle"
"Be open to opportunities, no matter how small they seem."
"Be patient for opportunities, for they are like tides, ebbs and flows."
"Thoughts come from the heart."
"Next week will be a time of personal empowerment."
"Surprising encounter will leave a lasting impact."
"you will be recognized for your achievements."
"Dare to dream. Feel, uh, love. Find. Touch. Grass."
"Your life will look like a series of blessings."
"Life, to you is a bold and dashing adventure."
"Don't engage in road rage."
"experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
"You won't know until you try."
"A lifetime of meaningful connections is coming."
"Your success will be a testament to your resilience."
"Patience is the key to a loving soul."
"Teach your children the value of accountability and take responsibility."
"You will make many changes before settling happily."
"The evening promises romantic interests."
"You will experience joy in the beauty of the night sky."
"Determined heart frightens problems away."
"This month, you'll make significant progress toward your goals."
"Your kindness will be a source of the light in the World."
"success won't taste as good without failures."
"Your future will look adventurous."
"You'll be in the spotlight."
"July's beauty will surround you. Appreciate it."
"Your Wednesday will be filled with [exciting] opportunities for adventure."
"A trip to a foreign country will broaden your perspective on life."
"This month, you'll experience moments of deep insight."
"Your resilience in the face of challenges will lead to unexpected opportunities."
"Inner peace is found within. It's worth seeking."
"There is a true and sincere friendship for you both."
"You will create a new recipe."
"Sports are a testament to the power of teamwork. Be a strong link in the chain."
"forget those who wronged you for your own peace of mind"
"Let go of the past and embrace July's opportunities."
"Happiness isn't having what you want, but rather wanting what you have."
"your diligence to working while hard will be your diligence to success"
"To be successful is staying hard at work."
"Your talents will have a chance to shine"
"next week, [will] bring a surge of motivation."
"To be creative is to unlock the door of infinite impossibilities."
"Tonight you'll receive an unexpected gift."
"Your road to glory will be rocky, but fulfilling."
"today's generosity will come to you in many fold."
"The bottom of the ladder is crowded. There's more room at the top."
"Forget those things that aren't worth remembering."
"The wisest owl hears all before he flies."
"Opportunities to explore new horizons is coming soon."
"True friends are the keepers of your secrets."
"It's just cookie."
"It is never too late to start."
"Do not spend money you don't have."
"Seek friendship, and you will find someone special this month."
"A new and exciting opportunity will present itself this Friday."
"A lifetime of heartfelt compliments will boost your confidence."
"you will live a healthy life."
"you will become a vegetarian or a vegan."
"Financial situation will be secure and stable"
"You have a [keen] sense of humor and love a good time."
"Strive for progress, not perfection."
"You have a deep appreciation for the arts and music."
"He is blessed with opportunities of growth."
"Positive energy will attract an abundance of blessings."
"not good"