Sakura Buffet
Parma Heights, OH
6276 Pearl Rd, Parma Heights, OH 44130
Lobster pictures but no real seafood: kid-size pizza, messy sushi and noodle soup, saved a little by a cheese mussel and a rangoon in disguise. About three stars.
about3.0His rating (he hedged)Yelp said 3.5- Rangoons Goonin'
- Pizza YesKid-size, with only about four pepperonis on it. 'Definitely pizza.'
- Desserts Fruit (including kiwi), Fortune cookie
- Price $19.42/person ($38.84 for 2)
Dishes
- Cheese-stuffed musselTastes like cheese and oyster. Not terrible; he kind of likes it.01:55
- Crab rangoon (labeled cheese wonton)A crab rangoon in disguise (see Rangoons).02:25
- SausageThat's fine.01:48
- Buffalo wingSauced up, but cold to the touch. It's fine.02:40
- SushiMessy, obviously made by someone who's never touched sushi. 'That ain't it.'03:20
- Old Bay crabJust imitation crab with a crust.02:07
- Pasta saladDoesn't even taste like pasta salad.02:15
- Cheese noodlesMore like a cheese noodle soup, 'dastardly wet'. He doesn't know how they messed it up.01:58
What he said
“Does the Sakura Buffet deserve 3.4 stars? I'm going to have to say probably not. I think it probably deserves more on the three star end.”
“they have pictures of, like, full blown lobsters, but there's no lobster in the building.”
“One cheese wonton. Or perhaps a crab rangoon in disguise. I say respectfully, I'm going, maybe not 9 to 5, but at least 9 to 2.”
“It's messy sushi. Obviously made by somebody that's never touched a sushi in their life.”
“There's only like four pepperonis on this thing. It's like a kid size pizza.”
“I, I don't even know how they fucked that up, honestly. That is sodden foul.”
What he didn't love
- Seafood: Pictures of full-blown lobsters outside, but no lobster in the building, and no real seafood at all. 00:17
Also noticed
- Next to the Cleveland Furniture Bank thrift store. A cool lamp inside, and 'romantic' enough for a prom date, he jokes. 00:11
- An extended fruit selection, with kiwis, which he'd never seen at a buffet. 01:37
- Something that looked like a s'more on the buffet. 00:55
Cleanliness
What he said about it, in the video:
- Two steps in, it kind of smelled like fish. 00:25