Asian Buffet
Watauga, TX
Likely Whitley Road, Watauga, TX 76148 (he tagged only Watauga; we matched the address)
Fancy room, battle-royale crows and proper triangle goons he's most definitely gooning on, but tire-chewy calamari, pointless pineapple in the coconut shrimp and doughy hibachi chicken. Down from Yelp's 3.7 to three stars: 'Nothing fantastic.' At least he got the DiGiorno.
3.0His ratingYelp said 3.7- Rangoons Goonin'
- Pizza YesHis sign-off consolation for a 'nothing fantastic' buffet: at least he got the DiGiorno, his name for buffet pizza (as on day 108).
- Desserts Fortune cookie
- Price $18.39/person ($36.78 for 2)
Dishes
- Salt and pepper calamariHis first salt and pepper calamari. It looks like onion rings, but he doesn't like the texture: 'like I'm chewing on a car tire.'02:39
- Coconut shrimpCoconut shrimp with little pieces of pineapple in it, new to him. The pineapple does absolutely nothing for it.01:42
- Frog legsThey look like little muscular legs, which makes them hard for him to eat. Not his favorite: 'If you eat a frog leg, it's not for the texture.'03:56
- Hibachi chickenLooked pretty good on the line. On the plate it's okay, but very doughy, like biting into balls of plain white bread.00:47
- Mac and cheeseThick and sauced up; it made him want mac and cheese for the first time in his life. But he'll never understand how it gets so yellow and doesn't taste like cheese at all.01:24
- SushiGood, but with a weird aftertaste.03:20
- Seafood boilThe first seafood boil like this he's seen on a buffet. It's kind of brown, with crawfish ('a little antenna on my finger').02:13
- Chinese spaghettiTaken on the line; the labels have no Spanish word for it.01:09
What he said
“Does the Asian buffet deserve 3.7 stars? You know, I think it's a three star buffet. Nothing fantastic.”
“Triangle shaped goons. These are held in high regard. This could make or break a Chinese restaurant.”
“I'm most definitely [gooning].”
“Feels like I'm chewing on a car tire.”
“The pineapple does absolutely nothing for this. Tastes like somebody dropped pineapple in it.”
“This place is so fancy. It's got two chandeliers.”
Also noticed
- So many crows outside, all squatted up like they're about to drop in for a Fortnite battle royale. Inside it's fancy, with two chandeliers, a lot of 'unlicensed characters' in the decor and a really nice bathroom. 00:11
- Food labels in English, Chinese and Spanish. He learns the Spanish word for egg roll is 'rollito'. 00:53
- Valentina hot sauce again: 'I'm starting to see a trend here in Texas.' 00:39
- A seafood boil with crawfish on the buffet, the first like it he's seen. 02:13