Asian Cafe
Marysville, OH
Likely 601 Colemans Xing, Marysville, OH 43040 (he tagged only Marysville; we matched the address)
A cheap, quirky buffet with mouth-burning goons, a top-tier mushroom and surprisingly good peanut chicken, but a shoe-like pork chop and no pizza. 2.8 stars.
2.8His ratingYelp said 3.2- Rangoons Goonin'
- Pizza NoNo pizza, twice called out, and part of why the score drops.
- Desserts Great Value ice cream, Fortune cookie
- Price $11.18/person ($22.36 for 2)
Dishes
- Crab rangoonHot enough to burn his mouth, and so good (see Rangoons).01:23
- Cheese-topped mushroomLooks like a little pizza bagel, with burnt cheese on top. 'A top tier mushroom.'02:32
- Peanut chickenServed on a single crunchy lettuce leaf. Actually pretty good, though it doesn't taste anything like peanuts.01:43
- Hong Kong pork chopNew to him. Stone cold: it tastes good, but it feels like eating a shoe.01:03
- Garlic breadOn plate one; no verdict.02:27
- French friesJust enough fries on the line for everyone to have one each.02:04
- Chicken on a stickIt got stuck in his teeth. Not for him.02:40
What he said
“does the Asian Cafe deserve 3.2 stars I'm gonna have to knock it down to 2.8 stars”
“like seriously y'all gotta get it together where the fuck's the pizza”
“we're goona now boys goon town USA population one”
“authentic Italian mushroom kind of look like a little pizza bagel I like the way they burnt the cheese on it”
“that Hong Kong pork chop this thing is stone cold though wow it tastes good it just feels like I'm eating a shoe”
“and this fountain here is dry as fuck but at least they got a fire extinguisher in case it catches on fire”
What he didn't love
- Drinks: The cup is deeper than the straw is long, so he keeps losing it. 00:41
Also noticed
- A bone-dry fountain (at least there's a fire extinguisher), nice door handles, an Arizona-tea-can decoration, optional chopsticks and little serving trays. 00:10
- The only fried rice he's seen that isn't just yellow. 01:12
- A urinal model he'd never seen before. 01:30
- Great Value ice cream, 'straight from Walmart', in the freezer. 02:08