Grand Buffet
Circleville, OH
Likely 1450 Circleville Plaza Dr, Circleville, OH 43113 (he tagged only Circleville; we matched the address)
With special guest Kalani Ghost Hunter (@kalanighosthunter)
A grocery-store-sized small-town buffet full of wet floor signs: greasy stuffed mushrooms, Kroger-style nuggets and a mayo-roulette glob, carried by triangle goons. Bumped up to 2.6.
2.6His ratingYelp said 2.4- Rangoons Goonin'
- Pizza YesFrozen-style pizza (captioned 'Justinos', likely Totino's) that could have been microwaved a little longer.
- Desserts Kroger ice cream (seen, not tried)
- Price $19.25/person ($77.01 for 4)
Dishes
- Crab rangoonTriangle-shaped and a little oniony, but a real good goon (see Rangoons).06:27
- Hot dogsHot dogs on the buffet, with sweet and sour on top: 'This isn't bad.'02:17
- Chicken nuggets'The best places always have chicken nuggets,' but these seem like the Kroger bagged kind: not horrible, not his favorite, not McDonald's quality.03:57
- Stuffed shrimpSwimming in sauce, with a sauce on the side he'd never seen. Up close, like Jimmy Dean sausage rolled onto a shrimp: 'a meatball with a tail'.02:36
- Baked salmon in a crustHe thought it was apple pie; it was fish. Not a bad flavor, but the texture made him uneasy.02:04
- Sausage-stuffed mushroomA first for him, floating on the line. Stuffed with sausage and so greasy it was like 'doing a shot of grease'.03:36
- Sweet and sour pigs in a blanketHad been sitting out for a while, and cold.04:34
- Coconut shrimpTopped with something he couldn't tell apart from Cinnabon icing or sweet mayonnaise.04:48
- Mayo-topped mussel (mayo roulette)The mayo-roulette pick: a big glob of mayonnaise, chewy like old bubble gum, tasting like an oyster.05:25
- Mini pot piesCute little pot pies that fit in your hand: 'Nice little portion sizes.'03:45
What he said
“Does the Grand Buffet deserve 2.4 stars? No, I think they deserve a 2.6. And I'm going to tell you why. The goons were quite gooning today.”
“one triangle shaped goon. A Little heavy on the onion, but I'm definitely goonin. You can catch me at Goon Town, USA. First train to goon.”
“I step foot in here and I just imagine that this is made for your standard small town Chinese buffet. But I thought I was in a grocery store for a minute.”
“It's literally if you took the sausage from, like, Jimmy Dean and rolled it up on a shrimp.”
“They're not horrible, but they're not my favorite. This isn't a McDonald's quality chicken nugget.”
“This is not duct tape. This is like part of another booth they superglued on there.”
Also noticed
- He expected a standard small-town Chinese buffet and thought he'd walked into a grocery store. So many wet floor signs that he felt 'secure for my safety'. 00:51
- Candy machines by the door: one fresh gumball, one rock hard, and a machine whose candy had melted inside. 00:17
- A urinal that looked like someone got mad and punched it. 02:31
- A booth patched with a piece of another booth, superglued on. 04:23
Cleanliness
What he said about it, in the video:
- The dishes all had water spots. 04:28