New China Buffet
Batesville, IN
128 Cross County Plaza, Batesville, IN 47006
A clean, year-round-Christmas buffet that covers its food, with a Red-Lobster-grade seafood boil and a great stuffed mushroom, despite oniony goons, dry mac and a mayo-topped shell. Bumped to 3.8; pizza would have made it four.
3.8His ratingYelp said 3.6- Rangoons Not gooning
- Pizza NoNo pizza, the only thing between it and four stars.
- Desserts Soft serve (two kinds), Cake pops (seen, not tried)
- Price $13.90/person ($27.80 for 2)
Dishes
- Seafood boilIt actually has flavor, not just boiled in water: the equivalent of a Red Lobster.01:02
- Stuffed mushroomWell seasoned, maybe with Old Bay.04:39
- SushiA whole sushi bar hidden in the corner. It looks good, with lots of cream cheese.01:55
- Crab rangoonToo much onion: no goon zone (see Rangoons).03:18
- Mac and cheeseA little spicy, like pepper jack. He prefers his noodles wet and floppy.04:21
- Stuffed shellThe top is literally a glob of mayonnaise, which shook him to his core.04:52
Halls
What he said
“Does the China Buffet deserve 3.6 stars? I guess I'll bump it up to, like, 3.8 stars. They Would have got 4 stars if they had pizza.”
“There's just so much onion in it. I don't think I'm properly gooning. Like, I'm almost there. I haven't hit the goon zone.”
“Finally, they cover their food. You know, that's probably the most original thing I've seen so far.”
“This looks like the driest Mac and cheese of my fucking life.”
“The top is literally just a glob of mayonnaise. Oh, that shook me to my fucking core.”
Also noticed
- It smells like the Subway next door. He loves the aesthetic: mismatched chairs, Christmas decorations up year-round, four styles of plates (including fine-china blue ones) and two rice cookers. 00:18
- A big claw machine with a flat-screen TV on it playing traditional Chinese programming, decorated with Christmas ornaments. 01:20
- Alphabet sprinkles at the dessert bar, the first he's ever seen. 05:33
Cleanliness
What he said about it, in the video:
- A pretty clean bathroom, and none of the usual years-old dust on the decorations. 01:12